System Going Into Major Meltdown

simply dunno wad to say. turmoil gg on inside of me. like to help but simply dunno how. sense ur insecurities but i have mine too. know it's time to grow up, be responsible, be ur pillar of support. but tell me how. tell me y m i the only one? said tt u're sorry to drag me in. sorry to burden me. i feel as bad as u. but i'm slightly better. i get to be busy. cant stop the tears. no one to hear. the angst, the pain, the fear. mood swings like crazy. just like urs. at a loss. just like u. close the door! lock the room! throw away the key! let me hole up n hide. hide in the safety of my own shadow. flimsy little shield. hold very still. if i pretend all's well, does it become my reality? sleep comes easy. especially if u're sleeping to escape. sleeping to run away to dreamland. sleeping to wake up and face a busy school day.
meltdown initiated..5...4...3...2...1...*boom!*

a life without passion

the time has come. the period of time near graduation. our last semester. the kan cheong-ness is buzzing in the air. everyone is highly strung. assignments, projects, presentations...every wk, all the time..everyone is going crazy. apart from that, the most-asked questions spreads ard the campus like wildfire..where are you going for degree conversion? where have you applied for a job? are you going to work first or study first? i heard that there's a vacancy in... once the commotion quiets down, you start to ask yourself. whatever happened to the PASSION that got us into this course? do we even feel like treating patients or just purely going thru motion? are we studying just for the sake of our degree? to finally hold our head up high in a world whereby a Bachelor of Yada Yada will always thrash a Diploma in Yada Yada? where has all the passion for my studies gone to? will i ever get it back? much as i would like to take my time, slowly pour through my books, understand how the body works to a perfection, this world does not allow me to, for by the time i'm done understanding my work, newer literature comes up, newer technologies are developed, newer skills are mastered. time truly waits for no man. i find myself going thru motion everyday. monday, school at 8am till 5pm..lectures all the way..blah blah blah..interested in lectures? no. copying notes for? in case i need for exam. it's kinda sad since when i entered the course i had great aspirations, important things to do and accomplish. den u start mugging and den u realise that mugging is empty. sigh..everything seems daunting at this point. i feel myself shut down, draw back into my cosy shell of escapism. here i can slack.