overprotected

this issue has been revolving ard my life for like..all my childhood all my life..i hate it! i dont see their reason..if ur reason was u're worried abt me..den ur reason would have been valid till i turned 18..if ur reason was tt u have nth to do after 11pm..den ur reason is really lame..there's so many things u can do and they dont have to be bad..if ur reason was like i go out too many times..den ur reason is starting to piss me off..i only go out on weekends these days..who are u to say i go out too many times? the most i go out is twice a wk..i hate u... there..u have no more reasons..if u loved me..would u subject me to such torturous nites where i have to part with my frens just to stick to my pathetically secondary schoolish curfew?if u loved me..why dont u trust me? if u loved me..why stop me from having fun?if u loved me...well..i dont love u anymore k?i'm grown up..i've grown up..and i hate these restrictions..i hate all these..all the times u say 'no' just makes me hate u more..i didnt wanna use the word hate cos i dun want it to be that definite..i dun hate u..i just dislike wad u're doing to me. but i feel enough to say i hate u now.of all the tons of frens i have..i happen to be the only one with a curfew..if ur lame shit excuse for me to have a curfew is tt..i dunno how lucky i am as compared to u when u were schooling...c'mon..times change..ur time was boring..my time is fun..don't stop me from having fun..i am only young once..just like u once were. if u say u love me..den i just have simple qns to ask u..if u loved me..den wad is my chinese name? do u noe tt?no u don't..if u loved me..den how old am i this yr?do u noe tt?u dont either..if u loved me..u'd noe sch and which yr i'm in..but do u?even tt is questionable..since u apparently couldnt be bothered abt my life..why let this bother u? I.Cant.Stand.It.

i hate u but i hate myself too..hate myself for being too weak to pick a fight..to yell back..to scream back..the furthest i'd go is to slam doors and bangs things ard..and to have cold wars..i have nv really screamed back at u..well..if tt is good upbringing den good for u..u have 'succeeded' as a parent if tt's wad 'parenting' is all abt in ur head.i'm well trained..just liek a pet..i lowered my head when scolded..i dont talk back..i dont go ahead and do it even though i noe it will piss u off..well trained indeed..happy?

one of these days..when i am able to financially support myself..i'd zoom out the door without a backward glance..if u loved me..u wouldnt do this..the more times this happens..the more i wanna run..u alwiz wonder why i go out so often..why do i fly..just qn urself..just look at the times u chide me and restrict my freedom and u'll prob find a trend..tt would be if u gave a damn abt my life..

Miss u like crazy

feel like singing the Mofatt's song now.. 'i miss u like crazy lalalallalalala' i forgot the lyrics...mofatts was an awful long time ago..hahaha..anyways..night are so lonely without my dearest..sigh... days i can still keep occupied..cos usually when he goes army..he cant really talk to me during the day..night is when i will wait for 930..cos it's the start of the "phone call window"...hhaha..they're supposed to be free from 930 to 1030pm ma..i'm alwiz v excited when the phone rings..but now..it seems like my nights seem longer.. so strange right.. i cant help but wonder..am i too sticky?!?! i even dreamt tt i snuck into his field camp to surprise him lo.. *shake head* future psychologists out there...diagnose me!!!

misery enjoys company

i'm sick..sore throat and fever..why am i sick so often these days..used to be a stronger girl! sigh...

i miss my bao bei..miss him like mad..miss him till my little heart feels like it's gonna break into a gazillion pieces..

i feel overwhelmed at work..feel lost...feel like i need to study but i dunno wad to study..the things they cover are so vague..i really cant rmb anything..

i feel miserable..sick and yet i go to work..stding in the freezing cold air-con..feeling my head throb everytime i cough..feeling my throat being so dry yet i cant have a drink..feeling hot all over yet i have to keep standing...i really miss my bao bei..i really just truly wanna talkto him..tell him how bad i feel..let him noe..make him understd..i need him to just sit and really listen..sit and baby me or pamper me or just reassure me..i feel a deep pain in my heart right now.. sighhhh

My Dearest's Gone To Field Camp!

sigh...he's going for field camp this sat till nx fri..meaning he won't be back for this coming weekend..sigh..i'm gonna miss him.. ugh..

start of clinicals tml..if i'm not wrong..according to my fren..it's gonna be hell for the first week den not too bad after which.. oh well..if i'm gonna get hell i hope to God tt at least my dearest will be able to be ard to listen to me complain...

i want a normal relaxing tai-tai life!! erjie...i wanna be a housewife too...i have finally seen how nice it can be...most of my frens are worried abt our future..the bible happns to tell us not to worry abt our future though..cos..if he clothed the lilies of the valley, if he fed the birds up in the sky, how much more would he be willing to give to us right...so we're not supposed to worry..but den..it's hard to not worry!!! esp with the grades slipping..the scary scary supervisors ard..the really tough assessments to do..ughhh!!!no wonder most of us are thinking of changing courses...tsk tsk..if u ever wanna be a physio in singapore..please..THINK TWICE...

parties are making me excited

me and dajie talking abt parties..den i suddenly was set thinking abt my bdae.. wad would i do? den i suddenly had this tot tt i wanna be a queen right.. den i tot of alice in wonderland.. tt i can be the queen of hearts den everyone else can be the deck of my subjects.. but den wad if someone upstages me!!! so tt's out..

but the big qn is... will i have a party?????

firstly..parties are expensive!!! secondly..if i had a party..it'd be v hard to mingle the whole nite.. and thirdly..who'd i invite?

i have to invite... my poly classmates...my jc classmates..my sec sch classmates..my guideys...dajie they all..tt's quite a lot of ppl..and those tt i noe but arent in a category..hmmm... so strange..plus plus plus... pppl are busy.. like it's ard the unio exam time... so who'd come? shucks..

and nx.. to plan a themed party??? hahaha... i cant think of a theme tt's not too exaggerated..not too difficult and yet still exclusive..

well.. i can force ppl to come in pink... but tt's too pri schoolish.. i can have some fairy princess theme but it's so pri sch too...aiyah.. so difficult..but yet so v exciting.. hahah..

how abt me just doing exclusive stuff with every bunch of my frens? like.. gg out to a spa session with one grp of girls.. and gg for a shopping spree with another and stuff like tt.. but it'd be tooo tedious... hahah..everyone'd hafta take a queue number and line up just to go out with me! and i can leave the planning to them! ha! but tt way..i'd find myself with a lot less frens suddenly.. haha..

i cant help being excited!!!!! and my bdae is still EONS away! hahha...