gg bonkers

i'm really gg nuts.. on one hand i want u to slp more..on the other hand i wanna talk to u more.. one hand hand i wanna be a nice girl..on the other hand i'm really just a short tempered grump..on one hand i really wanna call u up now and say i'm sorry and just talk to u as per normal..on the other hand i dont wanna 'give in' though there's nth to 'give in' abt..one one hand i have deadlines to meet..really gg mad..but on the other hand i'm really dying to talk to u, to see u and to meet u..on one hand...well..how many hands do i have anyway.. *pauses to count hands*

rrraaahhhh...roar..i dunno why but i seem to be in a perpetual grumpy state of mind.. i'm biting anyone and everyone tt comes near me.. gg down into depression liao..wallowing in self pity and wad not..

one presentation on monday...halfway done..but mainly cos i dunno wad to say abt it at all..one assignment to hand in on tues..latest wed..if mel can help me hand in.. i'm so dead for dead..it's as untouched as it can be.. and it accounts for like 60% of the module..God help me!

happy u tot of me

so happy u call whenever u can.. so happy u try to rush thru ur stuff just so u can squeeze in sometime to talk to me..happy u msg me! thankful for such a thing as a handphone..happy u seem to be okay with army life.. happy u're safe..happy u're well (although i was hoping u'd fall sick and be able to come home).. happy cos u're still ard for me to talk to.. muuuaackzzz!

lalalalala...vonz bday bash was smashing.. although part of the games were a bit huh..but the audiences were still considered spontaneous.. which is definitely good..haha..and as usual von cried like mad cos she laughed too hard/ was too touched.. funny la she..but i dunno why i'm so tired i keep sleeping thru stuff.. like in the chalet..they were playing games and i just kept sleeping.. haha..

i miss u liao.. again.. cos my leg is swollen and all and the one person whom i noe will pamper me the most is u! heh..poke ur eyes..

some ppl have been saying tt the 2wk confinement ruling is a thing of the past le..but why does my guy still have to go thru it? so confusing..neh..poke them all!!

sooooo utterly upset

u just called..for 10mins.. out of which u were distracted for ard maybe 5mins or more? i said abt as many things to u as i would say to strangers.. simply put..i'm devastated..

i'm so sad

my bao bei has finally enlisted today.. i felt so strange the whole day..when we were in tekong..it still felt alright..cos we were still on the same island.. but now tt i'm home and so v free...i feel v lost..i feel like calling up someone to talk to. but i dunno wad to say.. sigh..i wanna call him to tell him how much i miss him..yet he's in the stupid army..i cant call and chat as and when i want.. i'm so sadddddddddd...

i'm like having a cold turkey treatment now.. having to quit my addiction to u.. sigh.. i wonder if u miss me as much as i miss u.. hope u have fun anyhow...

i cannot take it...arhh... wanna tell him how bad it is but i dun wan him to worry.. i wanna cry and cry but tt's really dumb since he's coming out in 2 wks time..but i'm really so sad..today is strictly no study, no work day.. shall recuperate by gg to von's party..why aint he calling yet?????

come home soonnnnnn..sigh..why why why mz i be so sticky to u? double pout.. it's just a really v strange feeling.. i really dun noe how to describe it.. it's like u're away for awhile but since we got tog..u've nv been anywhere without me..well at least not for 2 wks.. my strategy for these 2 wks? get really busy.. need to replace one day of work for the mc i took today..i'm so lost without u..come home and sayang me this instant marrrrr...!

haha..i think i'm hvaing split personality..i wanna teh him and yet i wanna scold him for being away.. i wanna demand him to come home now..i hope he falls sick so he can come home yet i want him to be healthy and have fun in tekong.. i wanna just throw my usual tantrums and have someone comfort me.. i think i'm basically a spoilt brat in the sense tt i always want ppl to hong me and make me happy even if i start pouting the slightest bit..nehhh

von's party

so excited..so exciting.. vonzie wonzie's 21st bdae party!!!!! i'm on the bling committee and we were thinking of soooo many things to sabo ppl with..heh..wonder if i'll have a party not..but i cant decide who to invite and when to hold it at and where to hold it at..hmm...

anyway von'z party's theme is bling bling.. me supposed to make the poster or banner for it..hmmmmmmmmmmm.......... so terribly excited..but think i need to dig out time and strength to do it well..sigh... so cool... hope it's a big blast....!!! =)

how far can u run?

run away from it all..but just how far can u run? sigh.. i like lala lands..places and time whereby u are just in the blissful state of happiness.. whereby nth and absolutely nth perturbs u.. nth bugs u.. nothing and no one can affect ur euphoria.. but those places are so shortlived.. den u slam back to reality with such a big bang.. ugh..

i hate to quarrel.. i hate to have cold wars.. it makes me feel icky.. i dun like me when i'm cranky.. i dun like ppl when they're cranky cos crankiness is contagious.. and i all the more will be bu shuang when there's nth at all we shld be quarrelling abt yet we still can find sth to quarrel abt.. over the yrs...i've been told tt i nv voice out wad i'm pissed abt.. i just keep it in and ignore..both the issue and the person..but recently i try my best to really voice out wadever bugs me.. i'm not a v vocal person.. i'm petty and cranky most of the time.. i dun like to voice out my displeasure and it gets worse if i have to repeat wad i said a few times.. ugh..dunno if wad the above makes sense a not. but i'm just angry.. i dun understd why we have to do this ALL the time..

i feel so ugh... sigh.. so frus/sad/upset..dunno how dunno wad to do.. wanna call ya but my pride stops me from doing so.. call le also dunno say wad.. sigh... can't std can't std can't std